1. |
prelude at thirteen
01:34
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let's take a ferry
the first one out tonight
we'll sail across the seven seas
to a land that never dies
where the trees meet the stars
we'll climb up one of them
and take a handful of the sky
and save it for another time
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2. |
seven years
03:47
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it's been two long years
since i sat on this beach
i still remember this sand
though the grains are different now
no i never found love
even though i found
someone to love me
and now i live
in two separate lives
i've got one up north
and i've got one in ohio
and when i'm finally feeling good
when i'm finally feeling great
they whisper lies to one another
after nineteen years
the sole fulfillment i've found
is buried deep down
n an inconceivable god
well that does me fine
yet still i sometimes
get lonely when certain women smile
well i don't know what to think
i've got a lot on my mind
life is increasingly dense
and overwhelmingly lovely
and i don't know what to say
to half of my friends
so i say nothing
i don't i don't say nothing
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3. |
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i wanna big house
and i wanna new car
i wanna be rich
and sell my records
in the big big stores
i'm just kidding
i want you
i wanna be loved, love
and feel like i belong
i wanna drop out
and make something of myself
i wanna to be someone else
most the time
i wanna to disappoint my parents
and make 'em proud
i wanna be happy
but there’s nothing
to be happy for
and it goes like this
it always comes it comes
it comes it comes in fits
it's that city soul
that beauty feel
apocalyptic tremors
when i woke up terrified
in the middle of the night
and i keep looking at you
i fall in love with her
i fall in love with every girl
in the room
your face is pretty
and i'm lonely
could we touch
could we kiss
could i tell you
that i love you
could i never see you again?
and i keep looking at you
and now you're looking at me
and now your hair's in my face
and now i'm feeling e-e-e-e
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4. |
shantih
03:23
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white flight, black night
neighborhood twilight
not a lot of yard space
just a lot of pure hate
welcome back home
hear the lock as you come
by his lexus
lets you feel trusted
closed down school grounds
you say "this place is built like a prison"
mlk meets kkk
at the circle k
on 28th with a k-bar
ok
oh and though a-rab
jesus christ
never held an ak
i swear i saw 60s riot violence
manifested in the silence
at a wal-mart check-out line
when she met him with her eyes oh yea
you may have asked
"mom, why do all the black kids
sit together in the cafeteria?
mom, why do all the white kids
live together in the richest areas?"
but yea i know it's bigger
than black and white
you know they say that all
are precious in his sight
well i think that's right
i seen him riding through the projects
on a shotty child’s bike
holding high a single lighter’s flame
and moving toward the suburbs
i don't own a gun cause i don't need one
i don't do drugs got enough in my coffee mug
you'll never catch me hating cause i keep it all hid
sure i've got some scars
from that time when i crashed my bike
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5. |
josiah
03:26
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when i die and my brother dies
bury us sided by side
so we can decompose
so we can decompose together
into each other’s bones
so we can decompose
together
from our vacant flesh
the nutrients and chemicals
will mix into the soil
and become animals
in grass
in mud
in leaves
in the spongy bread our children eat
in all that speaks or sings
to become untameably
but now we’re clinging to that spirit
like some broker to cash
and we’re jumping into dumpsters
with our veins full of trash
and we’re driving in the country
to our favorite tracks
we’re turning over stones
that we’ll never put back
cause there’s something
something in our blood
yea there’s something in our blood
that’s all
when we sink when we sink down
into the pit i mean the swimming pool at troy’s
i hope the axehead floats
and i don’t get called a goat
oh oh how lovely to go with you
and i saw you staring empty
at the fullness of death
you said “all i see is awe
and i sense peace in this path”
and now we’re dancing in the basement
to our favorite tracks
i look at you across the room
and know what we have
we’ve got something
something in our blood
we’ve got something in our blood
hat’s all
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6. |
don't get the wrong idea
03:38
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don't get the wrong idea
i only have two eyes
but i sleep with an open window
open frontal lobe
so i can hear the sounds
under the bleachers
on a cardboard bed
i learned our american dream
to be a marketing scheme
and i'm growing tired
of our political christ
i'm sorry but i did not come
to your social justice club
i'm struggling right now
listen:
do you ever wish
that you were still just a child
with the innocence and ignorance
to take it in and simply smile
when all i really wanted to do
was play in the woods
just me and my brother
and my brother and me
and maybe you
it's your mother calling
she's the voice of god
she says "don't you worry
i'm still right here
feel my arms and hear my song"
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7. |
neil young
03:42
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yea i'm sorry
i didn't come home last night
there's still a boy inside
and if you ask me
“son what does my daughter mean to you"
i'd say "i don't know
but i know that she holds me well
and i know the colors in her eyes
and i know when we're touching mouths
you're the last thing that's on my mind"
and i feel young like neil young
and i feel young i feel young
no i cannot
tell you how the water feels inside that pool
and i'm not curious
but i can tell you
a million little things you'll probably never know
or even care to
like they're playing pop songs at four am
at the dealership on 28th
and that spirits why i'm not in bed
why i'm kicking around my cheap dreamscape
is concrete walls dripping with runny spraypaint
and i feel young like neil young
and i feel young i feel young
and i found god just outside the sprawl
on some road you can't take to work
it was sitting 'mongst some jasmine plants
t said "i don't live in your routine"
i said "funny that's what my brother told me"
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8. |
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sex ed is simple outside the classroom
unattended and alone
i watched those women move
i was addicted
to the screen for three
saw all there was to see
trembling when she looked back at me
she said your gaze hits the side of my face
i said i know i know your gaze
hits the side of my face
and she said your gaze hits the side of my face
i said i know i know my gaze
hits the side of your face
i was young i was young i was young
you shouldn’t hate yourself that young
that young just a kid
don’t get me wrong
i was aware i wasn’t a victim
what if the child caused to stumble
tripped on his shoelace
is he thrown into the sea?
cause yea that’s me
it’s hard to be hard to be free
from lust and phallus
take this cup from me
take this cup
she said your gaze hits the side of my face
i said i know i know my gaze
hits the side of your face
and she said your gaze hits the side of my face
i said i know i know my gaze
hits the side of your face
sex ed is simple outside the classroom
unattended and alone
i watched those women move
i was addicted
to the screen for three
saw all there was to see
trembling when she looked back at me
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9. |
tame
05:20
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i left you and my mind
at your sister’s
at your sister’s house
you swore under your breath
tried to sing it
tried to sing some song
well i heard it
yea i think i knew it
when you freed that bird
and wept for her
your only curse weight of
and know
when you fly back home
your friends will be there
most of them anyway
and then maybe you will know
what it’s like to not know where you
belong
and know you’re responsible
for what you tame
vulnerable
and when someone dies
who here cries i don’t cry
i never cry like you
we’re all children here
and sometimes i
laugh and i cry
at the same time
i feel like
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10. |
bss
05:20
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when brother roberto drank
all that listerine
it slid like hemlock down
the throat of socrates
and jesus christ sips
gall from a sponge
she’s eating berries off of bushes
she ain’t ever heard of
i know this is low art
whatever whatever
i’m a postmodernist
i guess i guess i
i found i worship best
talking late with my friends
walking out in the night
i know you closest then
and yea i saw my dad
crying at the show
i know he knows what i know
i saw some friends get married
it made me think a lot
what if their dreams are burried
o what o what about this revolution
sure i’m all for that so
get married have some children
that’s where it’s at
when brother roberto drank
all that listerine
it slid like hemlock down
the throat of socrates
and ryan almost died
of cancer as a child
these fragments i have shored
against my ruined corpse
it sorta blows my mind
to think that when i die
i’ll really be with god
now what is up with that
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11. |
siduri
03:22
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let me say
before i turn twenty
next week
“you don’t understand me”
it’s ok neither do i
let me say
though you’ve heard it
all along
“i don’t belong”
not with a woman
not with my friends
not with my family
not in my head
but in this song
on this tape
in these tones
and these waves
i will live in your head
and be lost
when the music ends
i’m gone.
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