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LUV IN THE RUINS

by Majetic

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    1st edition LUV IN THE RUINS cassette tape.

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  • LUV IN THE RUINS Book

    The LUV IN THE RUINS artbook merges annotated album texts with the photography of Chris Cox to further unravel the album-sphere. 52 pages. Limited to 50 editions.

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1.
Switzerland 07:55
The lake is first, a perfect plane for all my sophic shamelessness to dissipate but the lake is not a baptismal no vast religious metaphor and I am not contingent nor innate a figure at the shoreline figure at the mountain’s base oh my transgressive pilgrimage my lovesick body torn like bread Laura is a mystic at NYU jewel of a misty eye, dyslexic lover contented by none though mourning for one but up here on this mountain, seven stories high you shrug your grief like negligee as we wander from the village light your Brooklyn lips, my nowhere mouth you kiss me where the houses part you held our tiny bodies together through our coats I remember your lips, how they felt distinct and cold all of my moonlush lovers once my daylight friends exhausted by all of my means and misplaced ends never dreamt beside never dreaming beside I wanna be the one that almost kills you I wanna die in all your dreams at one unconscious peak a woman between twin streams she says, “this place has been called ‘shelter’ in helter skelter disbelief” and waking I am so relieved to learn you took an early train I wanna be alone today and always in solitude and grace in solitude and silent grace I am not in love when the world is close not drawn out in light not infinite in black I am enough for it
2.
Moonlight 03:04
Slumber is a stranger when you’re on my mind amble in the moonlight just to pass the time call me on the weekends, baby it’s your calling that keeps haunting me once I have you back, you can never leave everlasting visions, you are all I see love takes sacrifice won’t you be my little lamb, so puerile know you are my woman and I’ll always treat you right
3.
Laura don’t you label me a lapse in your sexual orientation even if I’m gendered as you claim I’m more than your sum of construction and you're so unembarrassing embarrassing to me Laura can’t you comprehend a lie no I don’t hate you and I will never hate you but I just wanna hate you I just wanna hurt can you turn your back on this dysphoric class? you’re just as fucked up as the friends you keep I see you’ve been tweeting every step of your collapse but haven’t texted me back these friends they seem so temptingly disposable when they demonize my weaknesses just know I could lose you all this moment and never skip a beat magnified by your mania you are my totem you are my cosmic sense terrified of a terminus it’s like ego death or eat ur <3 crucified by heredity you get so hung up on your family tree don’t you go and self-destruct for your father’s sake it’s so fruitless, fruitless, fruitlessness desperately I wish I could convince myself you care but your composure says you’re gonna kill me, baby I felt so gruesome at the party when you asked me to leave tell me, is it true? are you impossible to keep am I so selfish to assume your love just know I have catalogued all of your evils and worship every one you wanna murder our friends I wanna dig the hole you wanna eat all your meds I wanna finger your throat I wanna murder our friends you’ll keep’em after all I wanna meet all your pets you wanna kill my dog
4.
Solitude 09:49
It’s as simple as it sounds it’s the blood below your beltline and it’s your blood that’s in my mouth I could spit it but I won’t your jetlagged eyes and your dogeared smile I was enamored by you now estranged by myself impossible, your expectations, don’t you know? well, is it possible that you and I could be something less than what we’ve been the light fixture hangs like a noose amidst the partygone people and partygone friends well I’m pretty sure you were losing your mind locked in the bathroom upstairs you were falling apart from me so up to the attic I go, where friends they are smoking down under the glow of christmas lights there’s Jackson and Jenna and Robbie and Rachel and Derek and Maggie and Jem Jem and Josie is sounding a trumpet for all of us now can’t you hear it so anciently peal through the silence of first snows and dead kids with delicate boyfriends? it signals a passage from all that I’ve loved and I’ll never be back all of your friends move away there are better things sure there are, but what does that change when all of the houses we filled with music and food are empty and going home feels like a waste your parents are together still, love you still, great but not enough to fill the abyss that widens and hisses beneath you ya home is a hole in my head I’m bleeding out memory and language itself is never sufficient to fill the absence we trail behind us and each furtive walk in the woods leaves me unhinged at the thought of its finitude no I can’t stay too long just wanted to say I care just want you to know I’m here father who art, I’m sorry about the way that I’m living, ungracious and crude but all of the loudness and people I love couldn’t contain all the feels that I’m feeling that’s the bottom fucking line Solitude hangs like a moon over the disciplined people and diligent friends of mine waning from crescent to newness the silent and celibate sign of the spirit maybe it’s holy, maybe it’s good maybe it’s holy, maybe it’s good maybe it’s holy, maybe it’s nothing maybe I’m horny, maybe it’s good you came and after all the guests have left isolation beckons you to endure it, can you endure me? dissonant and self-obstructive
5.
Netcong 06:46
Fingering the skin drawn taut from rib to rib and fumbling to scroll your hands they feel real but how am I to know a language when the body’s only forty pixels wide are you in the image of you? you call me as the light is lain upon the lip of open-mouthed evening there’s life in the ruins of luv I know it’s hard to resurrect the arrogance we shared before but I’d trade mine to know that I’m alright with you the trash compacted in a laugh dispersed upon a second glance catch your image in the glass your body no longer seems definite on a low-lit Megabus measuring my worth by the length of a name and if a name is what it takes well I need to hear yours there is no reference to align but all of the things that you’ve said amalgamate meaning and fuck with my head the mauvest mouth I’ve ever seen well you must cry online sometimes our world it glistens by the fire and our love is purest when burning it down and as the coals lose their glow well it gets so cold is there no liberating power in all of the violence that love provides? in a moment of calm all pretense annulled our arrogance disposed all of the pain that you hold comes flowing like water over my hands you’re free watch me like a lucky cloud like a lost and listless lover watches unfamiliar ceilings turn into the vertigos of seeping dawn stabbing your arm with a fork dotting your i’s with a knife hold me like you hold your head simple like it sounds like you hold two hands like tiny little shields around a mangled flame
6.
Amethyst 06:09
Amethyst to soothe you jade to splice the spine the blossoms on your birthday were strewn about the sidewalk by mine I think I feel it all I hate to call you sweetheart I hate to call you friend I love to call you Laura your cadence lends a little calm to my restless to my too intense to my highstrung to my stupid little head I need to know your blood type I need to take your pills to synchronize our saddest nights and throw our darkest visions to the wind I feel it picking up petulant shrug petals clung to your sneakers passing out on an underground train there is nothing in our hands sibilant speech beneath a canopy of doom you affirm all my quietest parts in the darkness of your room brute black hair in the basins of your flesh don’t quench my immolated ego wanes buried in your arms tonight I don’t wanna talk about your past anymore we name your father Lilian then drown him in a pool nothing in the night dissents the multiverse keeps spinning to your mood you try and take my picture I cover up my face as if to shirk or demure such a permanent trace of myself in your gaze well I cannot complain you can take my picture anytime that you’d like anytime, I don’t mind when you kiss me there is a moon where the sun once hung in the sky and I know it’s a mode of desire
7.
Jade 06:27
Praise the head with severed neck no pleasure without consequence you test my lust for men against the texture of your tersest kisses you can shave my head next to the stove ashamed of our anatomies my sex is lapsing crying in the kitchen well you know what I mean your father named you Lyssa to patronize your rage well it does I change my name to Laura on a whim as thunder masks a morning rain the saxophone abstracts the player’s pain cut your hand to prove your brand of self-destruction’s more intense I fold, I walk the several blocks to buy another purple bottle love is dull but don’t it drive a knife to know your soul is a disclosure so easily declined but I’ll try my best to mellow down on our way to David’s place there’s a party, I feel obstinate I’ll feel better when I’m with your friends no better when I’m finally but your friends are so insufferable so insular, so pure white boredom alchemizing hollow joy from limerence and cheap tequila but me, I’m just an anxious prawn a vassal of your validating glance into a crowded room you’re calm for me, I’m work for you but can drugs revise the night, ignite these half-cocked plans, these hands polite, un- locked inside the bathroom well I don’t care, I don’t really care if god had come unhinged the door to Christ my sin, to climb your roof well moored in waves moony glow see the Kingdom lain in gold
8.
9.
Gold dust on your pillowcase do you always grate your teeth beside me? no rest in a ruined luv your damages and disembodied breathing and you’re not so sure we’re working anymore I feel fucked just hold still and concentrate you can almost taste
10.
Icon 03:30
Hard to say something bout the seventh day something bout your restless eyes on the morning when you wake up and I’m not alive comedy or tragedy either way it’s a masterpiece to me but it’s childish your self-crucifixion on a cross made of privilege keep your art roped around your throat and a hand always at your member shut your mouth you stupid boy you’re mine, you know you’re mine and don’t endanger that self is not material for everything I create still I can’t seem to frame how you ruptured mine of all the hapless humans here in New York you are the one I choose to love
11.
Insomnia 07:01
Completely black but mostly gold grotesque in form but perfectly designed concrete and cocaine agoramanic reads like a Kafka sounds like an Ives well I got up and walked toward the river in the dark where I could see the entirety loquacious digits of the deaf blithely tickle the burns all down your back jewel of an eye don’t let me down I don’t wanna die Switzerland seems like a dream now heavenly in retrospect the vision of 100 reapers grim but grinning around the bed honestly, kissing you was easier with them around now everything I say or do seems a little bit insincere David found a body in the brush behind his studio some Bushwick kid fell off the roof his bicycle still locked out front Laura knows just what to say to raise the dead, to operate the peace inside her mouth only enough to soothe a single sour night maybe he’s just a number maybe these things still matter remember I said I’d clean up well I’m not so sure that’s happening another headless weekend another coked up yuppie a bullet in the muscle a steel blade in the gut of everyone you care for of everyone you’ve numbered of every choked up yuppie too proud to hide their face I can feel my shadow mount the saddle of my psyche and I know something’s changed you’re shallowing your breath and now you’re waking up with bruises I know I have changed jewel of an eye don’t let me die
12.
Birds, do you hear birds? birthing the morning the dawning Messiah but there’s nothing faithful to my knees on the concrete the bodies are there, all in a row, under black plastic you thought they looked heavy like the fields in a Rothko but I’d lost my taste for all that abstraction a morning rain is last the last of these baptismal symbolisms a rain to snuff the flame love with fail every time but every time it does the world will offer a closeness no love was ever lost just painfully rearranged step to the veil, pull it aside, there’s nothing behind it oh would you touch me? I just feel so unlovely all that you are and all that I want are calmly converging no I wasn’t kidding when I said you could kill me all this way just to find an instance of you Rothko himself, found dead in his home, his blood ripe with benzos I mistake evil for some aching perfection we all have the right to end our own lives call your mom, call her out, tell her off she was wrong bout the world she was wrong bout you, girl I loved it

credits

released January 6, 2017

CARE is Justin Majetich and collaborators:

Josiah Majetich - Acoustic Drums and Percussion
Jacob Bullard - Bass and Guitar
Brad Fritcher - Trumpet
Kandin Unger - Flute
Kyle Luck - Bass
Jackson Hall - Guitar
Curt Oren - Baritone Saxophone
Austin Kane - Recording Engineering and Equipment
Alex Previty - Drum Mixes
KT Pipal - Mixing
Mike Tierney - Mastering
Chris Cox - Photography

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Majetic New York, New York

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