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Solitude

from LUV IN THE RUINS by Majetic

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lyrics

It’s as simple as it sounds
it’s the blood below your beltline
and it’s your blood that’s in my mouth
I could spit it but I won’t

your jetlagged eyes
and your dogeared smile
I was enamored by you
now estranged by myself

impossible, your expectations, don’t you know?

well, is it possible that you and I
could be something less
than what we’ve been

the light fixture hangs like a noose
amidst the partygone people and partygone friends
well I’m pretty sure you were losing your mind
locked in the bathroom upstairs you were falling apart from me

so up to the attic I go, where friends they are
smoking down under the glow of christmas lights
there’s Jackson and Jenna and Robbie and Rachel
and Derek and Maggie and Jem Jem and Josie
is sounding a trumpet for all of us now
can’t you hear it so anciently peal through the silence of
first snows and dead kids with delicate boyfriends?
it signals a passage from all that I’ve loved and I’ll never be back

all of your friends move away
there are better things
sure there are, but what does that change
when all of the houses we filled
with music and food are empty

and going home feels like a waste
your parents are together still, love you still, great
but not enough to fill the abyss
that widens and hisses beneath you

ya home is a hole in my head
I’m bleeding out memory and
language itself is never sufficient to fill
the absence we trail behind us

and each furtive walk in the woods
leaves me unhinged at the thought of its finitude

no I can’t stay too long
just wanted to say I care
just want you to know I’m here

father who art, I’m sorry about
the way that I’m living, ungracious and crude
but all of the loudness and people I love
couldn’t contain all the feels that I’m feeling
that’s the bottom fucking line

Solitude hangs like a moon
over the disciplined people
and diligent friends of mine
waning from crescent to newness
the silent and celibate sign of the spirit

maybe it’s holy, maybe it’s good
maybe it’s holy, maybe it’s good
maybe it’s holy, maybe it’s nothing
maybe I’m horny, maybe it’s good

you came

and after all the guests have left
isolation beckons you
to endure it, can you endure me?

dissonant and self-obstructive

credits

from LUV IN THE RUINS, released January 6, 2017

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Majetic New York, New York

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